The Woman and the Pear Tree
There was once a rich man who had a very beautiful woman to wife, and this man loved her much and was very jealous of her.Now it happened, in God's pleasure, that this man had an illness of the eyes whence he became blind and saw the light no more. Now it befell that this man did not leave his wife, nor ever let her out of his reach, for he feared she might go astray.

Thus it chanced that a man of the countryside fell in love with this woman, and not seeing how he could find an opportunity to converse with her -- for her husband was always at her side -- he came near to losing his reason for love of her.

And the woman seeing him so enamoured of her, said to him, "You see, I can do nothing, for this man never leaves me." So the good man did not know what to do or say. It seemed he would die for love. He could find no way of meeting the woman alone.

The woman, seeing the behavior of this gentleman and all that he did, thought of a way of helping him. She made a long tube of cane, and placed it to the ear of the man, and spoke to him in this fashion so that her husband could not hear. And she said to the good man, "I am sorry for you, and I have thought of a way of helping you. Go into the garden, and climb up a pear tree which has many fine pears, and wait for me up there, and I will come up to you.

The good man went at once into the garden, and climbed up the pear tree, and awaited the woman.

Now came the time when the woman was in the garden, and she wished to help the good man, and her husband was still by her side, and she said, "I have a fancy for those pears which are at the top of that pear tree, for they are very fine."

And the husband said, "Call someone to pluck them for you."
And the woman said, "I will pluck them myself; otherwise I should not enjoy them."

Then the woman approached the tree to climb it, and her husband came with her to the foot of the tree, and he put his arms around the trunk of the tree, so that no one could follow her up it.

Now it happened that the woman climbed up the pear tree to her friend, who was awaiting her, and they were very happy together, and the pear tree shook with their weight, and the pears fell down on top of the husband.

Then the husband said, "What are you doing, woman? You are knocking all the pears down."
And the woman replied, "I wanted the pears off a certain branch, and only so could I get them."

Now you must know that the Lord God and Saint Peter were seeing this happening, Saint Peter said to the Lord God, "Do you not see the trick that woman is playing on her husband? Order that the husband see again, so he may perceive what his wife does."

And the Lord God said, "I tell you, Saint Peter, that no sooner does he see the light than the woman will find an excuse, so I will that light come to him, and you shall see what she will say."

Then the light came to him, and he looked up and saw what the woman was doing. "What are you doing with that man? You honor neither yourself nor me, nor is this loyal in a woman."

And the woman replied at once, "If I had not done so, you would not have seen the light."
And the husband, hearing this, was satisfied.

So you see how women and females are loyal, and how quickly they find excuses.
 

The Two Humpbacks 
There were once two companions who were humpbacks, but one more so than the other. They were both so poor that they had not a penny to their names. One of them said: "I will go out into the world, for here there is nothing to eat; we are dying of hunger. I want to see whether I can make my fortune."

 "Go," said the other. "If you make your fortune, return, and I will go and see if I can make mine." So the humpback set off on his journey. Now these two humpbacks were from Parma. When the humpback had gone a long way, he came to a square where there was a fair, at which everything was sold.

There was a person selling cheese, who cried out: "Eat the little Parmesan!" The poor humpback thought he meant him, so he ran away and hid himself in a courtyard. When it was one o'clock, he heard a clanking of chains and the words "Saturday and Sunday" repeated several times.

Then he answered: "And Monday."

"Oh, heavens!" said they who were singing. "Who is this who has harmonized with our choir?"

They searched and found the poor humpback hidden. "O gentlemen!" he said, "I have not come here to do any harm, you know!"

"Well! we have come to reward you; you have harmonized our choir; come with us!" They put him on a table and removed his hump, healed him, and gave him two bags of money.

"Now," they said," you can go." He thanked them and went away without his hump. He liked it better, you can believe! He returned to his place at Parma, and when the other humpback saw him he exclaimed: "Does not that look just like my friend? But he had a hump! It is not he! Listen! You are not my friend so and so, are you?"

"Yes, I am," he replied.

"Listen! Were you not a humpback?"

"Yes. They have removed my hump and given me two bags of money. I will tell you why. I reached," he continued, "such and such a place, and I heard them beginning to say, 'Eat the little Parmesan! Eat the little Parmesan!" I was so frightened that I hid myself." (He mentioned the place -- in a courtyard.) "At a certain hour, I heard a noise of chains and a chorus singing: 'Saturday and Sunday.' After two or three times, I said: 'And Monday.' They came and found me, saying that I had harmonized their chorus, and they wanted to reward me. They took me, removed my hump, and gave me two bags of money."

"Oh, heavens!" said the other humpback. "I want to go there, too!"

"Go, poor fellow, go! Farewell!"

The humpback reached the place, and hid himself precisely where his companion had. After a while he heard a noise of chains, and the chorus: "Saturday and Sunday!" Then another chorus: "And Monday!" After the humpback had heard them repeat: "Saturday and Sunday, and Monday!" several times, he added: "And Tuesday!"

"Where," they exclaimed, "is he who has spoiled our chorus? If we find him, we will tear him in pieces." Just think! they struck and beat this poor humpback until they were tired; then they put him on the same table on which they had placed his companion, and said: "Take that hump and put it on him in front."

So they took the other's hump and fastened it to his breast, and then drove him away with blows. He went home and found his friend, who cried: "Mercy! Is not that my friend? But it cannot be, for this one is humpbacked in front. Listen," he said, "are you not my friend?"

"The same," he answered, weeping. "I did not want to bear my own hump, and now I have to carry mine and yours! and so beaten and reduced, you see!"

"Come," said his friend, "come home with me, and we will eat a mouthful together; and don't be disheartened."

And so, every day, he dined with his friend, and afterward they died, I imagine.
 

The Sexton's Nose
A sexton, one day in sweeping the church, found a piece of money (it was a fifth of a cent) and deliberated with himself as to what he would buy with it. If he bought nuts or almonds, he was afraid of the mice; so at last he bought some roasted peas, and ate all but the last pea. 

This he took to a bakery nearby, and asked the mistress to keep it for him. She told him to leave it on a bench, and she would take care of it. When she went to get it, she found that the cock had eaten it. The next day the sexton came for the roast pea, and when he heard what had become of it, he said they must either return the roast pea or give him the cock.

Thus, they gave him the cock and the sexton, not having anyplace to keep it, took it to a miller's wife, who promised to keep it for him. Now she had a pig, which managed to kill the cock. The next day the sexton came for the cock, and on finding it dead, demanded the pig, and the woman had to give it to him. 

The pig he left with a friend of his, a pastry cook, whose daughter was to be married the next day. The woman was mean and sly, and killed the pig for her daughter's wedding, meaning to tell the sexton that the pig had run away. The sexton, however, when he heard it, made a great fuss, and declared that she must give him back his pig or her daughter. At last she had to give him her daughter, whom he put in a bag and carried away. 

He took the bag to a woman who kept a shop, and asked her to keep for him this bag, which he said contained bran. The woman by chance kept chickens, and she thought she would take some of the sexton's bran and feed them. When she opened the bag she found the young girl, who told her how she came there. The woman took her out of the sack, and put in her stead a dog. 

The next day the sexton came for his bag, and putting it on his shoulder, started for the seashore, intending to throw the young girl in the sea. When he reached the shore, he opened the bag, and the furious dog flew out and bit his nose.

The sexton was in great agony, and cried out, while the blood ran down his face in torrents, "Dog, dog, give me a hair to put in my nose, and heal the bite."

The dog answered, "Do you want a hair? Give me some bread."

The sexton ran to a bakery, and said to the baker, "Baker, give me some bread to give the dog. The dog will give a hair. The hair I will put in my nose, and cure the bite."

The baker said, "Do you want bread? Give me some wood."

The sexton ran to the woodman. "Woodman, give me wood to give the baker. The baker will give me bread. The bread I will give to the dog. The dog will give me a hair. The hair I will put in my nose, and heal the bite."

The woodman said, "Do you want wood? Give me a mattock."

The sexton ran to a smith. "Smith, give me a mattock to give the woodman. The woodman will give me wood. I will carry the wood to the baker. The baker will give me bread. I will give the bread to the dog. The dog will give me a hair. The hair I will put in my nose, and heal the bite."

The smith said, "Do you want a mattock? Give me some coals."

The sexton ran to the collier. "Collier, give me some coals to give the smith. The smith will give me a mattock. The mattock I will give the woodman. The woodman will give me some wood. The wood I will give the baker. The baker will give me bread. The bread I will give the dog. The dog will give me a hair. The hair I will put in my nose, and heal the bite."

"Do you want coals? Give me a cart."

The sexton ran to the wagon maker. "Wagon maker, give me a cart to give the collier. The collier will give me some coals. The coals I will carry to the smith. The smith will give me a mattock. The mattock I will give the woodman. The woodman will give me some wood. The wood I will give the baker. The baker will give me bread. The bread I will give to the dog. The dog will give me a hair. The hair I will put in my nose, and heal the bite."

The wagon maker, seeing the sexton's great lamentation, was moved to compassion, and gave him the cart. The sexton, well pleased, took the cart and went away to the collier. The collier gave him the coals. The coals he took to the smith. The smith gave him the mattock. The mattock he took to the woodman. The woodman gave him wood. The wood he carried to the baker. The baker gave him bread. The bread he carried to the dog. The dog gave him a hair. The hair he put in his nose, and healed the bite.
 

A Gentleman whom the Emperor had Hanged
The Emperor Frederick one day had a great nobleman hanged for a certain misdeed. And that his justice might be visible to all, he had him guarded by a noble knight with the severe command not to let him be removed; but the knight paid little attention, and the hanged man was carried away.

When the knight became aware of this, he took thought with himself as to what he might do to save his head. And during the night, deep in thought, he went to a neighboring abbey to see if he could find someone newly buried there, that he might swing him from the gallows in the other one's place.

That same night he reached the abbey, and found a woman in tears and disheveled and ungirt and weeping loudly; and she was grievously afflicted and bewailed her dear husband who had died that very day.

The knight asked her softly, "What manner of grief is this?"
And the lady replied, "I loved him so much that I never wish to be consoled but desire to end my days here in lamentation."

Then the knight said to her, "Lady, what sense is there in this? Do you wish to die here of grief? Neither with tears nor with lamentations can you bring back to life a dead body. Therefore what folly is this in which you are indulging? Do as I say: Take me to husband, for I have no wife, and save my life, for I am in danger. And I do not know where to hide, for at my lord's bidding I was guarding a knight who had been hanged by the neck, and some men of his kindred carried him off. Show me how I may escape, if you can, and I will be your husband and maintain you honorable."

Then the woman, hearing this, fell in love with the knight, and said, "I will do even as you bid me, so great is the love I bear you. Let us take this husband of mine, and draw him out of his sepulchre, and hang him in the place of the man who was taken from you."

And she ceased her plaint, and helped him to draw her husband from his grave, and assisted him to hang him by the neck, dead as he was.

The knight said, "Lady, he had one tooth missing from his mouth, and I fear that if they came and saw him again, I might be dishonored."

And she, hearing this, broke off a tooth from his mouth, and if more had been required, she would have done it.

Then the knight, seeing what she had done with her husband, said, "Lady, since you showed so little regard for one towards whom you professed such love, so would you have even less regard for me.

Then he left her, and went about his business, and she remained behind in great shame.
 
 

The Most Sensitive Woman
The parents of a prince wanted him to marry, but he said, "I will marry only such a woman about whom I can say with good conscience that she is the most sensitive woman in the world."

His parents answered, "Then go and find her!"

He went forth and came to a woman whose head was all bandaged up and who appeared to be suffering. "What is the matter with you?" he asked.

"Oh," she said, "this morning my maid was combing my hair, and she pulled one out, which is causing me great pain."

But the prince thought to himself, "She isn't the right one. I will seek further." He went on his way and found another woman. Her entire body was wrapped with the finest linen, and she looked very sad. "What is the matter with you?" he asked.

"Oh," she said, "last night while I was in bed there was a little wrinkle in the sheet I was lying on, and it has made me sick."

But the prince thought, "She is not the most sensitive one either. There must be a better one."

He continued on his way and came to a third woman. She was sitting in an easy chair and had a bandaged foot. She was crying bright tears and was distorting her pretty face until one had to feel sorry for her. "What is the matter with you?" asked the prince.

"Oh," she groaned, "this morning while I was strolling in the garden a little breeze came up and blew the petal of a jasmine blossom onto my foot."

The prince thought about this a little while, and then said, "You are the right one, for there cannot be a more sensitive woman than you!" And he married her.

Did he do the right thing? Unfortunately the storyteller does not know, for she has run out of yarn.
 

Little Red Hat
Once there was an old woman who had a granddaughter named Little Red Hat. One day they were both in the field when the old woman said, "I am going home now. You come along later and bring me some soup." 

After a while Little Red Hat set out for her grandmother's house, and she met an ogre, who said, "Hello, my dear Little Red Hat. Where are you going?" 

"I am going to my grandmother's to take her some soup." 
"Good," he replied, "I'll come along too. Are you going across the stones or the thorns?" 
"I'm going across the stones," said the girl. 
"Then I'll go across the thorns," replied the ogre. 

They parted ways. But on the way Little Red Hat came to a meadow where beautiful flowers of all colors were in bloom, and the girl picked as many as her heart desired. Meanwhile the ogre hurried on his way, and although he had to cross the thorns, he arrived at the house before Little Red Hat. He went inside, killed the grandmother, ate her up, and climbed into her bed. He also tied her intestine onto the door in place of the latch string and placed her blood, teeth, and jaws in the kitchen cupboard. 

He had barely climbed into bed when Little Red Hat arrived and knocked at the door. 
"Come in" called the ogre with a dampened voice. 

Little Red Hat tried to open the door, but when she noticed that she was pulling on something soft, she called out, "Grandmother, this thing is so soft!" 

"Just pull and keep quiet. It is your grandmother's intestine!" 
"What did you say?" 
"Just pull and keep quiet!" 

Little Red Hat opened the door, went inside, and said, "Grandmother, I am hungry." 
The ogre replied, "Go to the kitchen cupboard. There is still a little rice there." 
Little Red Hat went to the cupboard and took the teeth out. "Grandmother, these things are very hard!" 

"Eat and keep quiet. They are your grandmother's teeth!" 
"What did you say?" 
"Eat and keep quiet!" 

A little while later Little Red Hat said, "Grandmother, I'm still hungry." 
"Go back to the cupboard," said the ogre. "You will find two pieces of chopped meat there." 
Little Red Hat went to the cupboard and took out the jaws. "Grandmother, this is very red!" 

"Eat and keep quiet. They are your grandmother's jaws!" 
"What did you say?" 
"Eat and keep quiet!" 

A little while later Little Red Hat said, "Grandmother, I'm thirsty." 
"Just look in the cupboard," said the ogre. "There must be a little wine there." 
Little Red Hat went to the cupboard and took out the blood. "Grandmother, this wine is very red!" 

"Drink and keep quiet. It is your grandmother's blood! 
"What did you say?" 
"Just drink and keep quiet!" 

A little while later Little Red Hat said, "Grandmother, I'm sleepy." 
"Take off your clothes and get into bed with me!" replied the ogre. 
Little Red Hat got into bed and noticed something hairy. "Grandmother, you are so hairy!" 

"That comes with age," said the ogre. 
"Grandmother, you have such long legs!" 
"That comes from walking." 

"Grandmother, you have such long hands!" 
"That comes from working." 
"Grandmother, you have such long ears!" 
"That comes from listening." 

"Grandmother, you have such a big mouth!" 
"That comes from eating children!" said the ogre, and bam, he swallowed Little Red Hat with one gulp.